I disagreed with a “spiritual quote” on the internet the other day.   I read it and immediately felt my stomach turn.  So,  I did what I always do when I want to have a real conversation. I called my best friend, Joe.



Me: “How many times do you disagree with spiritual quotes on the internet?”


Joe: “Oh!  All the time, sometimes they offend my spirit.”

Me: “ Like this one...” And then I blurted out the one I disagreed with. It was a quote with a beautiful photo of a garden and a monk.

Me: “Anger is punishment you give yourself for someone else’s mistake.”

Joe burst into laughter, not because it was funny, but because it was ridiculous.


Here’s what I believe:


  1. Avoiding feeling angry makes us hold onto that anger even more which turns it toxic in our bodies and our minds. 

  2. Feelings aren’t punishment. This is an absolute truth. They are guides. They are messages from our soul. When we are taught feelings are bad, we numb them.  Numbing what are considered negative feelings has the unintended result of numbing ALL of our feelings - even the good ones. It numbs our joy, our intuition, our bodies and our soul.

  3. Anger is always a boundary issue of some kind, you just have to find the angle. It alerts us to where we didn’t say no or we said yes and should not have.   It often asks us to question our beliefs and requires us to take loving action.  It helps us make a decision that is loving and with boundaries.

  4. No one can make you feel anything. When we feel angry it is not helpful to believe it was because of someone else.  That just creates a hole we eventually have to crawl out of.  No one holds that power of you unless you let them.  I do believe It is helpful to own your anger and to question what you believe about emotional health and how it impacts your physical body. 


Here is what I would love to say in response to this quote:



“To heal you must remove all blame.


To be healthy you must feel... everything.”