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The Greatest Power In Life

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I lived in Cleveland Ohio last year.

I did it for love.

It didn’t take me long to realize nothing was working out for me there.  I took a huge hit in my career as a result.

I did it for love.

After the relationship ended, I made myself remember the first moment I ignored myself and my own intuition to go and instead I stayed.  I stayed 11 months longer.

I did it for love.

I was dating a lovely man and I so badly wanted it to work out.  There was nothing really wrong with our relationship, only nothing about my life felt right.  I based all of my decisions that year so that I could remain in a relationship with him. I chose the relationship over my career.  I chose the relationship over my health, I chose the relationship over me.

Here’s the thing: doing all of that for love almost destroyed me. I almost lost everything I had built.   Looking back, I see how I let someone else pull my strings. I gave my spirit to someone else to be in charge of rather than owning it myself. I want to heal, so I made myself feel the pain of those choices.  I made myself sit still and I feel the pain in my body. I sat with my anxiety as I felt my own betrayal. . I owned the fact that I made choices - one by one - to abandon myself. In my experience, there is no bigger grief than leaving oneself to follow the love of another.

Six months ago, I moved back to California. This was a choice I made for me. I followed my own guidance and did what I knew was best for ME. Since I first made that decision, I have been relentlessly listening to my gut and it has impacted everything in my life including the food I eat and the company I keep. As a result, I am now having the time of my life in my career as I work with people who bring the wind to my fire. Everything in my life has expanded - including my bank account. It’s a tangible expansion.

During this past six months I have rapidly increased my own power due to making choices in this way. My thinking is different today than it was a year ago and because of that I am attracting different people, opportunities and experiences. I didn’t try to change my thoughts. My thoughts changed because I changed.

Here is what I know to be true about empowerment.   

1.   We are all on that path.

2.   Life is finding out who and what are pulling your strings.  

3.   Self Esteem and Empowerment come from cutting those strings.

The greatest power in your life is not love, it’s self esteem.