I have been feeling my angels very close to me lately, I hope you have been too. Because of this I decided to pull a memory out of my archives, I hope it means something for you. This one is about my grandpa, I call it “ The Pope,”
My first commitment is always to the truth. I pray for it in my life. It’s very natural for me to pray because it comforts me. I crave the feeling. Everyday I sit in prayer and meditation and every day I pray for guidance, I pray for this truth. Earlier this year I was sitting in meditation and a strong memory came to me. You know how memories can sometimes hit you right in the bones? Like you can feel them in your body? This memory began with goosebumps and ended in tears, the kind that leaves you feeling like you have been hugged with so much love.
The memory was of my grandpa on my wedding day when I was 24 years old. My mom is from Sicily and raised me to be Catholic but here I was, getting ready to marry a jewish man and we chose to have a jewish wedding. In our wedding we had all of the grandparents walk down the aisle and in a jewish ceremony all of the men wear yamakas. I wasn’t sure how my grandfather would respond to this so I made up all kinds of things in my head instead of talking to him about it. One story after another appeared as I worried. There was the story that he would be disappointed that I was moving away from something he believed in. There was the story that he may even be devastated by this. I was so afraid he would be any of those things and it kept me from the truth.
Here’s the thing. When the moment came for my grandpa to put on his yamaka, he looked at me with a huge, childlike grin on his face and declared, “I feel like the pope!” When I think of this I giggle with joy because because that is what my grandpa was feeling, not devestation but joy. None of my stories were true.
We allow ourselves to suffer way too much by telling stories that aren’t true. There are the stories of, “I’m not enough.” We make up stories about other people and what happened and what their reactions may be and what they think. It happens subconsciously all day long and it can cause so much unnecessary suffering.
May we all remember to only tell stories that are true. The truth is almost always kinder than the stories we create in fear.